Valentine’s Day is a time of romance, love… and awkward encounters for those without a significant other. A favorite across the world, Valentine’s Day is renowned as a day to express your love or to follow through on some extravagant and romantic plan; but today I will focus on the untold stories of Valentines. No one makes movies about the other half of the world that is not having a perfect Valentine’s Day, the ones who are not about to make some sweeping declaration of love– the ones who will simply sit on their couch and watch Netflix with a bag of chips and a bottle of sparkling cider. However, below the Netflix watcher and the couch sitters on the social scale are the ones who still have not lost their faith in this hell-ridden holiday, the ones who are out on the town the night of, most likely awaiting regret. Below them all, however– the worst of the worst off– are those who are stuck third wheeling on Valentine’s Day.

As an expert in all things awkward, I sympathize with the heartbroken on February 14th. Those poor souls whose night fell short of expectations set by an unrealistic Ashton Kutcher romantic comedy. Valentine’s Day is defined by disappointment. We romanticize the holiday only to be disappointed by the reality that true romance is only found in the movies. As a 16 year old boy, some may say I am not the best person to write about romance or the lack there of; to those people I say “beat it.” The only people who truly reap the benefits of Valentine’s Day are divorce lawyers who rarely have good intentions.

However, this article is not about my bitter attitude toward unrealistically-romantic-moment-seekers, this article is about the real troopers, the ones who must endure nights upon nights of third wheeling. Third wheeling is more a state of mind than an action.  Because of this, the occasion tends to happen to the same people over and over again. The worst part is that you can usually see yourself becoming a third wheel.  This here is the key to avoiding such an unfortunate circumstance. While it may be bearable for short amounts of time, it is vital to avoid third wheeling on Valentine’s Day. If this happens, every awkward moment– every sly remark about lack of commitment– every unfavorable moment is not only shared with you, but pinned on you. Then you will turn into the supreme justice of their dysfunctional relationship, ruling on two month old arguments about things you literally could not care less about. While being alone with two people who think that they are in love may sound appealing at first, it most likely will be much more awkward than enjoyable.

A romantic dinner for three, a luxurious triples massage at the spa of your choice– as fun as these getaways may sound, you do not want to be the third one getting that massage. There is a reason why they call it a dynamic duo and the devil’s trifecta.  Three just has a certain level of danger to it that just is not worth the fun. There is never truly an equal group of three, and as a third wheel you are mistaken if you do not believe you will be out of place.

So next Valentine’s Day, just give up, do not try to be a hopeless romantic or have a fun night out with your favorite couple.  You will have much better luck staying at home and watching Netflix. Sometimes you are just better off just cutting your losses and accepting that you will be lonely for one night, as will so many more who are wise enough to avoid third wheeling on the eve of awkward moments.