Is your Super Bowl lookin’ super dull this year?  Well, I’ve got a couple ways to spice up your game day festivities this year and I’m not talking about party hats and Tostitos™.  I’m talkin’ man cave makeovers, the whole 9 yards.  Follow these 5 tips and you’ll be the neighborhood Gronkstar.

1. Snacks- Before I begin I just want to address a problem that is slowly fading away but for some reason still exists in our society: the veggie platter.   Apparently, someone thinks the first thing I want to do when I step into someone else’s house is shove a cold cauliflower in my mouth and aggressively chew on what feels like a hard, slimy toothbrush. NO ONE likes the veggie platter guy.  Now that that’s out of the way, everyone knows that the key to any party involves fat amounts of chips, dip, and everything in between.  Just about anything that can be eaten with those saucy phalanges is perfect.  Another rule: don’t double dip.  I want the chip dip, not whatever grossness that was in your mouth that you so kindly contributed to the community dish.
2. Seating Sitch- Kneeling down for hours on Zabutons may be a great way to enjoy some hipster sushi or to get to know your chiropractor a little better, but those floor pillows can’t hang when it comes to event accommodations.  Hook yourself up with some upper-class upholstery.  Hire some sweaty dudes to “relocate” your neighbor’s sectional.  Throw a futon in there for all I care. Anything that doesn’t require 5 Ibuprofen and a herniated disc 4 hours later works just fine.
3. Commercial entertainment- Since Super Bowl XLIX, people have begun to realize the commercials have soon turned to trash.  The golden days of Budweiser and Doritos has seceded to mutated babies, creepy definitely, but not that funny.  All the commercial breaks mean vacant time left to do something fun.  Grab some friends who may not enjoy football as much.  Play a quick party game.  Throw down some cards and pretend to have fun until the game finally resumes.  Try pongin’ it up if you have a table. Slap some balls around, slap your friend around–everyone enjoys a street KO (just ask Kimbo Slice) especially if it involves flipped couches and cheesy weenies– now that’s what I call a halftime show.
4. The Fam- Everyone loves their family, especially when they perform their gymnastics routine in front of the TV and manage to type out the entire preamble of the Constitution with their butt after slamming onto the remote.  The way I see it, there’s only two options, both of which involve the attic.  Ever seen Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation?  It’s really fun having family scavenger hunts up there.  The quiet game is bonus points.
5. The TV- Bum Bum.  Bum Bum. Brrrrrrrrrr bum bum.  Bum bud da bum. Ba ba ba ba ba bum da ba dum.  This makes or breaks the night.  While the TV does not need to be as big as Rhode Island, it should be big enough to actually make out the players.  There’s nothing worse than the guy who thinks he’s a soviet spy waving around an antennae, flipped upside, wearing a radar dish on his back.  Take the high road and just do the right thing.  Buy a TV from Best Buy and return it the next day.