Nothing is worse than someone who actually puts effort into everyday tasks. Uggh. It’s just so annoying when you’re just minding your own business, skipping school and smoking cigs by the quarry and some punk cop tells you that going to school is “important.”Like trill off bro, how about you stop being such a try hard at your job and just let me get some nicotine.

Even worse is during sports when your teammates and coaches tell you that you need to put in more effort. Give me a break. I didn’t “try” my way to back to back state semi-finals in tennis. I got on that podium the only honorable way. By talent and talent alone. And to you haters that say “well maybe you could have won if you tried,” how about you back off and stay in line. Yeah maybe I could have won, but the tools that brought home the hardware will forever be labeled as the work of try hards, and that alone taints any championship run more than Barry Bonds’ steroid accusation taints his Home Run record.

I am so sick and tired of this try hard attitude.The other day in school some teacher asked me why I hadn’t done my homework. Gee, I don’t know Ms. Doe, maybe because I’m cool and popular and it would totally destroy my reputation if it got through the grapevine that I actually do my homework. Then she asked me how I expect to get into college given my awe inspiring lack of effort. Another stupid question. I’m not going to college. That would destroy my persona. Have you ever heard the saying “peaked in college?” I didn’t think so. Actually now that I think about it, that’s just another name for a Frat Lord. But that’s not the point. Frats aren’t cool cause to be in a Frat it requires effort. Hazing, pledging, matching outfits, it all sounds like a ton of work. Gosh, seems like nobody understands nowadays the true meaning of being a bro.

Even the other members of our Jetstream Journal Staff are a bunch of try-hards. They actually take their time to write real stories and have a rigorous process of editing and improving the newspaper so we can publish the best editions possible. Gross. Come on, putting that much time and effort into something just isn’t worth it. Don’t they know all you need to do is say “senioritis is real” and teachers are legally obliged to pass you. People are so ignorant nowadays.

If you made it this far in the column, stop reading. Nothing says “try-hard” like someone who actually enjoys reading. What were you born in 1820? Last time I checked we have something called television and that requires a whole lot less effort than reading this. Alrighty, I’m deucin’. Remember to keep it cool with R&B Slow Jamz.