Living With Depression

A+man+sits+alone+in+front+of+a+sunset.+Labeled+for+reuse+by+Creative+Commons.

A man sits alone in front of a sunset. Labeled for reuse by Creative Commons.

For the past nine years, I’ve hated the way the sun shines through my window every morning. Not because I hate mornings, but because I know it means I have to make it through another day once again. If you understand this feeling of not knowing the purpose of life, you will have some understanding of what it’s like to live with depression.

Usually, when people think of depression they think of suicide.

However, depression goes far beyond that. It’s the feeling of sadness and feeling of loss. For me, depression feels like I’m always struggling in quicksand, fighting to stay above the surface and looking for a lifeline to grab a hold on. In reality, I’m not in quicksand, but it’s just all in my head.

Junior Marissa Blum explained, “Depression to me feels like I’m drowning while everyone around me is treading water. I feel that way because everyone around me is succeeding in life while I’m not. I know it’s not reality but I can’t get the thoughts out of my head.”

Most of the time we’re able to have some control over our thoughts. With depression, it’s as if your thoughts aren’t there, or you have no control.

Junior Abby Ogden said, “I feel empty at certain times. I can’t control my thoughts and other times my thoughts are nowhere to be seen. Sometimes my thoughts even control me.”

From a personal standpoint, my thoughts controlled the way I felt about asking for help. My head told me to keep it all in because I didn’t want to be different. I thought something was wrong with me.

Junior Sundari Vallelunga noted, “I didn’t tell my parents until I was 16. I wish I told them sooner and got help sooner. No, I’m not cured of depression and anxiety, but I’m not hurting as much mentally.”

It’s ok to reach out and ask for help. Even if you feel sad, tell someone. If you think a person you know is suffering from depression, don’t be afraid to reach out to them. Sometimes the people with the biggest smile can be suffering the most on the inside.

You could save someone’s life.

The feeling of hopelessness, loss of interest, or sleeping changes in sleep are common symptoms due to depression. For a more detailed list of depression symptoms, visit healthline.com.

I remember when I felt so alone in life at one point. I felt like there was nothing left for me until one of my friends came along and helped me see what life offers. Before, I saw life in a different way.

Sophomore Anna Shelton described it as, “For me, depression feels like the color was just sucked out of the world and everything is just grey. Whenever I find a single spec of color or happiness, I feel like I’m undeserving of it.”

We accept what is thrown at us in life, good or bad. With depression, we feel like everything should be bad because we deserve it.

Living with depression isn’t as black and white as it seems. Depression is a battle with yourself because you’re fighting to stay alive.

If you or anyone you know is suffering from depression, reach out to your school counselor or call the suicide hotline at 800-273-8255. There are also online chats that provide professional services 24/7.

People can help support your journey out of depression.