Breaking News: Seniors Reveal Riveting Sense of Humor

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Breaking News: Seniors Reveal Riveting Sense of Humor

Seniors Justin Brand and Aleks Olesiak ponder their impending graduation.

Seniors Justin Brand and Aleks Olesiak ponder their impending graduation.

Seniors Justin Brand and Aleks Olesiak ponder their impending graduation.

Seniors Justin Brand and Aleks Olesiak ponder their impending graduation.

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The class of 2019 has plenty to say, and during this time of year we will hear many forlorn farewells and sage morsels of wisdom. However, on a much lighter note, let’s not forget to acknowledge our goofier, more sarcastic side.

Throughout our four years at Air Academy, we have accrued a wide variety of sardonic jokes, insider knowledge on the secret workings of Air Academy, and favorite quotes that capture the high school experience.

So, without further ado, here is the voice of the class of 2019–revealed through our incredibly refined sense of humor.

Quintessential Quotes

From a galaxy far far away to the office of a struggling paper company, our senior Kadets can find inspiration from anywhere. Behold: the media that shaped the great minds of our graduating class.

“Do or do not, there is no try.”–Kaitlyn Waynick (Yoda, “Star Wars”)

“If a man does not have sauce, then he is lost. But the same man can get lost in the sauce.” –Talia Markowski (Gucci Mane)

“I knew exactly what I was doing, but, in a much more real sense, I had no idea what I was doing.”–Hillary Schiff (Michael Scott,”The Office”)

“If no one comes from the future to stop you from doing it, then how bad of a decision can it really be?” Murray –Leilani Hammonds (Bill Murray)

“We need to remember what’s important in life: friends, waffles, work. Or waffles, friends, work. Doesn’t matter, but work is third.” –Sophie Robinson (Leslie Knope, “Parks and Recreation”)

“Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver the other is gold.” –Lily Boice (lovingly attributed to her mom)

“cricket noises” -Anonymous Senior

“2 percent milk is just water lying about being milk.” –Michael Boe (Ron Swanson, “Parks and Recreation”)

“Just because you’re trash doesn’t mean you can’t do great things, it’s called garbage can, not garbage cannot.” —Justin Brand (Anonymous)

“Even monkeys fall out of trees sometimes.” –Kona Lindsey (lovingly attributed to his mom)

“You miss 100 percent of the shots you don’t take.–Wayne Gretsky–Michael Scott”–Grace Ash (“The Office”)

Grace Ash’s quote is a reference to this frame from “The Office.”


Dear Underclassmen…

As seniors depart, their underlings quickly rise through the ranks, and–as we all know–with great power comes great  responsibility. So, to all you spry young whippersnappers, here’s the advice you need to rule the school.

“It’s nothing like high school musical.” –Mackenzie Little

“Stop trying to find a trend in the room numbering. You will find nothing.”–Hillary Schiff

“Remember kids, eat your bacon” –Michael Boe

“YOLO everything.” –Mackenzie Little

“Drop out now.” –Gavin Garrett Johnson

“Coffee is your only savior.” –Jordan Nieves

“Always abuse your seniority.” –Kona Lindsey

“[Ms. Attias] is not as scary as she seems.” –Gavin Garrett Johnson

“If you’re like me, you’ll never truly know what’s going on in life.” –Aleks Olesiak

“Senior year you can’t help but get lost in the sauce.” –Talia Markowski


So, farewell seniors! Air Academy will miss your always-memorable humor and spontaneous spunk. In the great words of Ron Swanson, “I’m not one for speeches, so goodbye.”

Ron Swanson from “Parks and Recreation” wishes the class of 2019 a firm and stoic “Congrats.”


If you have a quote that got lost in the sauce and did not appear in this article, please comment down below!