The Jetstream Journal

Filed under Halfwit Humor

Chores: The Answer to Teenage Happiness

The embodiment of joy: doing chores. Labeled for reuse by Max PIxel.

The embodiment of joy: doing chores. Labeled for reuse by Max PIxel.

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There is nothing like coming home from an exhausting day of school to a long list of chores.

The excitement…nothing could be better.

For a long time, teenagers have underestimated the fun in cleaning.

Doing the dishes (a classic) is essential if teens ever want to eat on a real plate, without struggling to cut steak with a weak plastic knife. Scrubbing dishes is a great workout, something many teenagers could use. Going at it with a Brillo pad can really make people sweat. AND, there is NOTHING like trying to wash a spoon and getting water rocketed into your eyeball.

Exhilarating.

Vacuuming (another classic), is basically a free concert. Once past the smell of burnt dog hair and rubber, this chore is a joyous activity. Cord in one hand, vacuum handle in the other, this chore is helping teenagers perfect multitasking without them even knowing it.

Vacuuming also teaches teens basic maneuvering skills. Coffee table in the way? Go around it, no one’s looking under it. Cord doesn’t reach the end of the room? Being clean is boring anyways.

This chore teaches people how to safely handle heavy machinery. If people can vacuum, they can basically do anything.

Possibly even more entertaining than vacuuming is laundry. Doing laundry is a thrill.

Separating the whites from the colors or the delicates from the non-delicates…pure joy.

People really get to live life on the edge knowing they are one red sock away from a brand new wardrobe.

How could teens not love it?

Teenagers, in fact, should have more chores. They claim they want to “hang out with their friends,” but in reality they’re dreaming of hand-washing their mom’s coffee cups.

Chores are the answer to teenage happiness.

Dumped by a boyfriend? Sort the silverware.

Got a bad grade on a test? Go set the table.

The options are endless.

Teenagers try to hide their love for these activities by sassing their parents and rolling their eyes while completing them, but it’s all an act. Inside, these teens are jumping for joy. They are relishing the fact that they get to dust and take out the trash. Inside, they’re gloating that their sibling’s didn’t get to clean their room for the third time that week.

Chores are fun. Plain and simple.

Who wouldn’t want to do hours of work for free?

So, to the parents out there reading thinking that they’re punishing their children by assigning them chores:

WRONG.

Chores are not punishment; they’re a beautiful reward gifted to children by their wonderful parents. Chores are basically a golden ticket to Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory.

If chores were to be taken away from teenagers, havoc would ensue. Teens wouldn’t know what to do with their folding skills and sweeping knowledge. Their hands would long for dish soap and their ears would miss the sound of a spoon in the garbage disposal.

Teenagers love chores. They’re a necessity and a major cause of joy.

Getting the longest list of chores is like winning the lottery: it show’s you’ve made it.

A bad day can always be solved by a long list of chores.

Keep. Them. Coming.

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About the Writer
Casey Hogan, Journalist

Hey there, my name is Casey Hogan, I'm a junior and this is my first year writing for the Jetstream Journal. My all time favorite hobbies include being...

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Chores: The Answer to Teenage Happiness