Thanksgiving Lives Matter

Dylan Featherston

Why is Thanksgiving in the shadow of Christmas? This is a question many non-conformists ask during this time of year. Thanksgiving is a perfectly lovable holiday with the same enjoyment as Christmas, isn’t it?

Everyone raves about Christmas music, with radios already blaring easily recognizable songs, but there is equal cheer found in the melodies of our favorite November holiday! With maybe 3 or 4 thanksgiving songs that no one has ever heard of, anyone can enjoy the rich, diverse music of the holiday.

Who could ever forget the amazing decorations that are erected by every middle-aged suburban mom around Thanksgiving? With depictions of turkeys and pilgrims all created by 4-year-olds whom continue to make such works of art because their parents continue to encourage them for some reason. This, of course, is infinitely better than the light shows put on by individual houses and the indoor trees covered in sparkly lights found during Christmas.

Let’s not forget the most important thing about Thanksgiving: the dinner. Thanksgiving dinner has a whopping 20% chance of going well. You can’t argue with those numbers! Of course, there is always the yearly excitement of your entire family imploding into fire and rage over political opinions. This, of course, rarely happens over Christmas dinner where most people are rarely violent due to the religious significance of the holiday. What a great tradition!

A delicious Thanksgiving Turkey taken by Robert Gerald. (You can sleep safely knowing that when you eat turkey, this is what you are consuming.)

Who could possibly argue that Christmas is better than Thanksgiving when Thanksgiving provides us with the amazing delicacy that is Turkey (pictured above)? If you genuinely think ham is better than the precious food known as turkey, then I don’t know how to help you, friend. The dry and bland flavor of turkey will always surpass the rich flavor of ham in every way.

Truly, only the Virgin Mary would prefer Christmas to Thanksgiving.