Growing Up LGBTQ+

“We’ll support you no matter what.” This claim comes from the mouths of parents constantly, but it may not always be the case.

Growing up, no matter what your situation may be, is difficult, but the struggles of growing up LGBTQ+ seem to be even more strenuous.

“LGBTQ” is an abbreviation that originated in the 1990s and replaced what was formerly known as “the gay community.” The abbreviation was created to be more inclusive of diverse groups. LGBTQ+ stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (and/or questioning) individuals.

I have interviewed students of Air Academy and other schools in the state of  Colorado about their sexuality.

When and how did you realize you were LQBTQ+?

“I didn’t always know that I liked both females and males… During my Freshman year, I had a crush on this boy and I remember feeling devastated after it didn’t work out and one of my friends at the time helped comfort me. At that moment I felt a connection I had never had with anyone else.  She made me feel fuzzy and happy every time we were together. It was at that time that I knew that I was bisexual.”

“When I was still in elementary I used to go to a girl’s house, she was the first person I had ever kissed. She told me that if I ever told anyone she would make my life a lot more difficult. So I remember brushing it off and attempted to forget about her and the fact that I liked both sexes. Then when I was in middle school, for a week straight I had the same dream about this bisexual girl at my school. I had a gay best friend at the time and told him about my dreams and my past; he told me to embrace who I am. From that moment, I was no longer scared of what my life would bring in regard to my sexuality.”

“I am bisexual; I have known this fact for five years. I always felt like I was missing something about myself, but I could never put my finger on it. I thought girls were attractive, and I would find myself checking them out more than boys. When I finally decided to come out to my friend, I asked her if she would kiss me to see if there was a connection. I felt something I had never felt before the moment our lips touched. It was as if I was complete.”

“I have noticed that I have had crushes or attractions to women ever since I was in preschool, but I didn’t realize I was part of the LGBTQ+ community until I was in fifth grade. Nothing drastic happened to make me realize that I was homosexual, it just came naturally. It was as if I always knew. “

“In the words of Katy Perry, ‘I kissed a girl and I liked it.’ In reality, that is kind of what happened. I think I have always been interested in women, but it became clearer when I started dating a girl. She was my first love, and I knew from then on that I was attracted to women.”

“All my friends knew about my sexuality before I did. I actually had a dream about making out with a guy I knew at my school. It was after this dream that I realized that I was interested in the male sex.”

“After my 10th-grade orientation, I was walking down the hall, and I saw a girl walking the other way with her mother. She caught my eye, the way she held herself—a sweet, shy expression on her face—somehow captivating my attention. I then discovered that I had a class with her and every time she spoke I was fascinated, simply envious of her persona. It took me until November, when I saw her in the library laughing with a friend. I noticed a warm, heavy sensation in my chest. And then it hit me. A cold splash, instant butterflies, I completely freaked out. I had never felt this way about girls before. It was terrifying, but at the same time, it was a relief. I felt silly for only now recognizing how I felt. With effort, despite pent-up nerves, I finally spoke to her. In result, we became really close friends. She was the first girl I was openly attracted to and great things, including but not limited to an entire community, was revealed. I am very thankful for it.”

Have you had any hardships due to your sexuality?

“The hardest part about being Bisexual is the fact that my mother doesn’t know. When I lost the one person I thought I would never lose due to the fact that she broke up with me, I felt like I wasn’t allowed to be sad. I was forced to put on a fake smile and act like everything was fine, so she wouldn’t know. One day, I remember watching America’s Next Top Model and one of the men happened to be bisexual, and my mother sat there and said well that’s too bad, discrediting him due to his sexuality.”

“Due to the fact that I live in an extremely religiously Christian household, my parents don’t fully approve of my sexuality because of what the Bible says. So every time I go to another girl’s house to hang out, I am questioned if she’s homosexual. They don’t really want me to be with girls, they believe it’s a choice that I have made that I can just change… But it’s not like that at all.”

“I am constantly badgered by questions about ‘lesbian sex’ and if ‘I am actually lesbian or just faking it’ or ‘are you SURE you’re 100% lesbian? Like you can’t tell me that you don’t find guys attractive when you’re out and about.’ It gets old really quick.”

“I am not fully out. I have come out to my mom and my friends, but my dad and brothers don’t know. It is definitely hard for me that I am not able to be totally open to them. I have definitely experienced self-questioning. Another thing I have come across is the assumption that since I like girls, I must be attracted to all of them. I feel like I can’t be as open about my relationships with females as I can with males due to the fact that my younger brother goes to the same school as me. Hitting on girls is also extremely difficult, it is very hard to tell if a date is a romantic date or just for friendship. Though I feel that as a bisexual female, I have not experienced too many hardships.”

“When I first realized my sexuality in freshman year, I was forced to move to a different school. When I moved to a different school I was bullied due to my sexuality. I was forced to endure harassment from my other peers. I am also not out to my family, so that is really hard to deal with. My parents are extremely Catholic and I am not sure how they will respond.”

“Even though I was very aware of how I felt, I was extremely confused and most often conflicted.”

Do your parents or friends know about your sexuality?

“Unfortunately, my parents don’t know that I am bisexual. I have attempted and thought about coming out to them a lot, but every time I have shot it down. I mention my sexuality in conversations with my friends, but I don’t see why I have to come out to people when straight people aren’t forced to claim that they are straight.  Not everyone that I have encountered has been positive while others have been amazing, and for them I am thankful.”

“I have come out to both my family and friends. I am very lucky in the fact that I was extremely accepted by most of the people that I talked to.”

“All the people that surround my life know that I am bisexual, except my parents.”

“All of my friends know about my sexuality, some knew before I did. My parents and sister, on the other hand, don’t know. I have a feeling my mom has an inclination that I’m into males.”

“My friends do usually find out just because it usually comes up in conversations. I don’t keep it a secret, I’m usually pretty open about it. My parents do know, yes, but they kinda keep it hush-hush in fear of my younger siblings overhearing. When I came out to my stepfather, he was mostly confused and didn’t really initiate the subject. I was threatened that if I acted upon my feelings and sexuality that I would be kicked out.”

Do you have any stories about being part of the LGBTQ+ community?

“Growing up I had no one to look up to that was LGBTQ+. I always thought it was a negative thing. One day in choir class, a girl was pointing at me. I remember feeling self-conscious and confused as to why someone I barely knew was pointing at me. When the class finished, I went up to the girl and asked why she was pointing at me… Turns out she thought I was attractive and wanted my number. Warning signs were going off in my head like fireworks. I ended up just brushing it off but I will never forget that feeling of confusion.”

“My best friend and I were talking, and I told her that I was bisexual. She turned around and said ‘me too!!!'”

“For a while, I was low-key flirting with a girl and then later she got a girlfriend and stopped talking to me as much, and I thought it was because I had been hitting on her and I was pretty sad. Then later, when we were closer again, I talked to her and told her that ‘I was totes hitting on you earlier this year, but then you started dating another girl and I thought I made you uncomfortable or something,’ and she told me she had no clue I was hitting on her. She told me that she just assumed that I was straight.”

“When I was like trying to hit on you and I asked you on a date and then I had no idea if you knew that I meant like a romantic date, and we ended up going to the movies with your sister and dude, and I held your hand and then I was like okay but does she know I’m gay!? Then I talked to you about it later and you were like ‘yeah I didn’t know if you were interested in me either but I was also hitting on you too.'”

Do you have any comments you would like to make?

“I don’t want to be defined as bisexual. I am me. Also, I want people to stop stereotyping what someone who is LGBTQ+ is supposed to look like because we are more than a stereotype.”

“Allow yourself to be strong. Do not listen to the negative people.”

“I am proud of who I am, and I will not hide from the truth.”

“It’s your choice to come out. I kind of wish I kept it to myself longer than I did. Don’t succumb to feel pressured… feel confident in yourself.”

“A lot of people assume that since I am gay I cannot like males and that makes me really sad because that is the exact opposite for me. At my lowest time, a time full of suicidal ideas and self-harm, I was able to turn to God as a way to cope. Do not compromise either, you can be religious and gay.”