“Congratulations”

Ah. We have finally made it. Seniors, Class of 2016, people born in or around 1998, we have done it. We have made it to the end of our public schooling. This is an absolutely amazing accomplishment that is so hard to do. Jk. Quit wallowing in your ignorance and realize the mediocrity you have just accomplished, seniors. It is absurd to think that this was hard to do. We go to school at a place that literally doesn’t allow you to fail. You couldn’t not graduate even if you wanted to. Saying that graduating is hard is like saying the Cleveland Browns don’t suck and are a thoroughly well-run organization from top to bottom; it is just not correct.

For all the people that are talking about how much they’re going to miss high school and all the people in it are hypocrites. That’s right, social media junkies I see right through you. You are the same people I have seen relentlessly complaining about high school for the past four years; don’t change your tune now in an attempt to gain acceptance and support from your peers through online media. All that does is just prove how humans are liars and completely fake. So don’t send that tweet, or post that picture, put your phone down and smell the carbon emissions for once. However, even I must admit, now is a time for reflection.

Reflect on some of the noteworthy accomplishments you have had in high school, the things that actually matter. Not your grades or test scores or how prestigious your college is because talking about that just makes you out to be the pretentious poser that you are. Now reflect on things like memories made or friends gained. You know, the things that will actually have meaning to you when you’re feeble, decrepit, and old looking back on your life. When you are old, you won’t be thinking about schoolwork or what grade you received in your math class (if you refer to any of your classes with AP or Honors in front of them just know I hate you and everyone can tell you are trying to brag), you will be thinking about the happy moments in your life, so cherish them because you only have one chance to make them. Or, instead as an old fellah, you could be wondering where you are and where the nearest bathroom is. Who knows, being incredibly old is a huge wild card, you can’t just predict that.

I suppose since this is the last time I shall ever write for this newspaper I should say something memorable, something I haven’t said before, something to leave my mark on an organization that has left a mark on me far bigger than any mark I have left on it. With that, I leave you with this. Stop clapping at movie theaters, nobody can hear you and you look incredibly stupid and should feel that way too.

For the final time here with R&B Slow Jamz and The Jetstream Journal, I am signing off. Be sure to support your school and fellow Kadets in every facet possible, you can only do it once.  Make the most of it. Tune in next year for more great Journalism from our News Team…read it during Academy ;). Goodbye Kadets!